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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26507254">Absolution</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharo/pseuds/Sharo'>Sharo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>4am writing instead of sleeping, Feelings, Kissing, M/M, Nothing explicit, Scars, Touching, and working them out, emotional and physical, i can't even describe this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:34:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26507254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharo/pseuds/Sharo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Evil X tried not to think about it. Xisuma didn't make him, but he didn't not make him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Xisuma/Evil Xisuma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Absolution</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>  It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not.. all soft, and slow, and..</p>
<p>  Emotional.</p>
<p>  It wasn't right, but he couldn't bring himself to call it <em> wrong </em>.</p>
<p>  Sure, they poked, and prodded each other. Occasionally kidnapped and tied each other up. Or down, on a few occasions. It's just how they were, how well they knew each other, without having to talk about <em> feelings. </em></p>
<p>  <em> Void </em> , isn't that just how clones <em> are </em>? Just an extension, albeit in another body, with the same mind and goals and intention.</p>
<p>  But this? This was something new, and he didn't know if he liked it yet. If he was <em> supposed </em> to like it.</p>
<p>  And that.. scared him. A little. Just the tiniest bit.</p>
<p>  Because he wasn't held down. Wasn't tied to something, or even just <em> told </em> to be still. He could play that game, better than Xisuma, the punk.</p>
<p>  What was he supposed to do with <em> this </em>?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  Xisuma's lips were on his chest, his hands heavy but gentle along his sides, brushing up and down like he was a cat to be petted. Strokes of pressure from one side to the other, leaving tingling warmth behind each one. His mouth followed a newer scar, one that ran from his stomach to his collarbone, where the sword had finally caught and snagged before slipping free. It was long healed, but it would still be a year or three until it was no longer tender, no longer affected by a mouth lavishing attention on it, learning every wrinkle and turn in the once broken skin. </p>
<p>  He was making noises again, but it was so hard to pay attention to them when Xisuma kept <em> moving </em> . He wouldn't hold still, wouldn't hold <em> him </em> still, make him accept this gentle kind of… a palm stilled on his hip, fingers kneading into the tight muscle until his thigh stopped straining to push him away. And then he was moving again, back to caresses and kisses, moving back toward his neck, but so careful not to lean his weight against him. As if it was a <em> point </em> to not hold him down, except with his mouth and his fingers.</p>
<p>  And to think that Xisuma had started at his <em> feet </em> of all the inane places. At the scar on his left ankle, and the claw marks on top of his right foot that had torn right through his boots. The mark on his shin where he'd once cracked his leg in three places, one of the bones going right through the skin and almost healing there before he could get it reset. At the pockmarks on his kneecaps from an acid spray, and the knotted tissue on the inside of his knee where he'd hung from a chorus tree when the blasted thing had suddenly grown up <em> through </em> him. From there the marks became thicker, overlapping from years of abuse and not caring enough to bother healing most of his wounds. Creatures, swords, arrows- there was a time he had welcomed the pain and never looked at the scars, only searching for the next fight before his body rid itself of reminders of the last, trying to prove to himself that he was still living, still worth something…</p>
<p>  And then he reconnected with this derp, who made him relive those memories and kissed away each old pain with soft words and touches, telling him with every line and curve of his body that he was wanted and known and all without <em> forcing </em> a single moment on him, knowing that there was room and opportunity to move away at any time.</p>
<p>  He may never forgive him.</p>
<p>  Or at least, never leave this bed, not with that mouth and those fingers, and that tongue that had <em> finally </em> found his own mouth…</p>
<p>  He moaned into the kiss, accepting everything that it gave and giving everything back. He was light as a feather and yet his body was filled with iron, holding him down and anchoring him here. He had lost his immunity to fire long ago, but the heat between them felt like it could burn down an entire roofed forest in less than ten ticks, never mind what it would do to world lag. Hips stuttered against his and he rolled with it, a fleeting smile wondering if he <em> could </em> , if the lag would work <em> in his favor, just this once </em>.</p>
<p>  "You've finally smiled. If it wasn't for all of your noises, I would wonder if you were enjoying yourself."</p>
<p>  "Just thinking up new ways to break the world." He ran his fingers through short, freshly shorn hair, so different from the tangled mess that his usually was. </p>
<p>  "Oh?" He would always be drawn to those eyes, that captured his every time, that promised to <em> see </em> him, and to be seen.</p>
<p>  He met them; violet and silver reflecting each other like an endless mirror.</p>
<p>  "Wondering if I could stop time, to stay right here, in this moment forever."</p>
<p>  He savored that smile, that quiet delight and soft disbelief, that he never knew mattered so much but that he wants to see forever now.</p>
<p>  He leaned up to kiss that beautiful smile, accepting the little praises that fell from his lips. It didn't matter if they were truth or fiction, but that he would one day believe them. Believe <em> him </em> , when they were pressed against his skin like his hands and spoken into his mouth like <em> that </em>.</p>
<p>  He moaned when Xisuma took them both in hand, knowing the perfect amount of pressure, feeling how much they both wanted it, were <em> ready </em> for it; the connection, the affirmation that they were together in this wanting, this <em> needing </em> . Not just their bodies, though that was nice, too. But as pleasure washed over them both, there was something in the warmth, something <em> extra </em> that had been pushed aside too long, in petty differences and impatient words and small arguments. Something that held him closer, more comfortingly than even the endless void.</p>
<p>  It was in the too-wide blink of violet eyes, and the soft touch of fingers against his throat, and the quiet exhale of Xisuma's breath against his mouth.</p>
<p>  His double, his clone, his other half, his brother in all but name.</p>
<p>  "I missed you." <em> I love you. </em></p>
<p>  "I forgive you." <em> I love you. </em></p>
<p>  And it was still there, in the soft wool that cleaned them, and the warm arms that gathered him in when he felt as if he'd unravel with the naming of it. In the scarred fingers that ran through his now-white hair, leeched of color by his banishment. In the warm body that curled around his, that treasured his return.</p>
<p>  Apology made, and accepted. Forgiveness given, and believed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>pretty sure this was inspired by BlueDblue62, since I read their lovely fic before trying to sleep. and then crawled out of bed to type this up in the dark.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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